The last several weeks have been excessively busy, causing me to enter a time of drought in my relationship with the Lord. Not enough time in the Word and prayer have affected me negatively, causing me to be more irritable, self-centered and thoughtless; for this is my natural state. And my natural state is anything but lovely. And yet, in the middle of this drought, I experienced a day of sweetness and light, where I could feel the flow of the Spirit. That one day I was with a brother who was struggling with bureaucracy and getting nowhere. I cannot say why, but I was calm and praising; and just as I felt myself fraying, the Lord brought news of my seven-year-old son’s accepting Jesus to keep me buoyed. He is truly great.
So, why is it that as soon as I returned to regular life, the drought returned? I can’t answer that. All I know is that these days my soul cries out with the psalmist, “As a deer longs for streams of water, so I long for You, God” (Ps. 42:1 – HCSB). Oh, how important the time with Him and the submission to Him. I long to bask in the cataract of grace so it will flow forth from within me, yet cannot find the time to do so. In these instances, I must recall that He is the one who is willing and doing in me (Php. 2:13), not me. I am not there yet, but clawing towards it to slake my thirst at the Well from which no one returns empty. To Him who gives as is necessary and who knows we are flesh and is thus merciful, be the glory.