Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop

January 2007

Recently I have been struggling with an unhealthy fear of God. He has been blessing me over-abundantly in the last year: an unasked-for car, a woman who has assented to marry me, more than enough money to live on, opportunities to travel. But inside me there is this fear that soon the other shoe will drop and I will get wrapped up in unnecessary difficulties.

Where does such a feeling come from, I ask myself, and the only answer that I can come up with is from a lack of trust in God. God’s goodness is undisputed in Scripture (Ps 100:5; 145:9; Lam 3:25; Mar 10:18; 1 Pet 2:13) and He will not give us anything evil. Difficulties yes, evil things, no. If evil comes it is not from God, but from the Devil or from man.

Therefore, I confess before God that I have recently been untrusting of Him, His goodness and His provision, fearing that what He gives with one hand, He will take away with the other. This is a very worldly mindset and not to be indulged in by Christians. When God gives good things, He gives them for a purpose and He will not take them away unless we misuse them. And that is a comforting thought.